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X-ManOfficial
Hi! I’m X-Man. I like to compose music, I draw something. Opened for collaborations.

Joined on 11/20/20

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Comments

do what you want to do. If you just don't feel like doing music at that moment then take a break and try another hobby. You may discover that you're talent lies somewhere else. And it doesn't matter if the songs are dogcrap, just upload them anyway. I have a bunch of old songs that are so bad that I can't stand listening to them, but I keep them up to show how much I've inproved and I know a lot of other people do the same thing for the same reason.

Also practice. It sounds cheesy and generic, but overtime you pick up little tricks, like learning how MIDI works, or what instruments sound good together. You can apply that to pretty much anything else: art, writing, animation, game development and so on.

Another thing that may be the problem is that you're not writing to the genre you like. It's always better to compose music in the genres you like as you'll find it more enjoyable listening to it back and you'll subconsciously pick random details from the songs you like and put it in your own.

I hope this somewhat helped. I guess also if your using an annoying software that can be demotivating so try a couple out.

Friend, thank you so much for your support! But there is a problem that makes 70% of my life meaningless... If you have read my long-standing post, released in early April, you know that I have atrophy of the optic nerves, which is serious. I do not have the ability to read or write anything correctly on paper, I am not able to read small texts and use a PC. I can't see what is 100 meters away from me. I can't do my homework, etc. That is, you understand that I can't draw, do animations, and so on. Therefore, I have a serious depression, due to the fact that I am extremely limited in my abilities.

PS: just had a listen to some of your songs, they're not too bad!

@X-ManOfficial oh.

It's fun when others love your music but you have to write for yourself. Music doesn't pay bills. Alot of us are artists because the mediums bring us joy or escapism. Don't make the mistake of assuming your only good at one thing, there is a world of activities and careers you haven't tried yet. (The next few paragraphs were written under the assumption you were older and American but keep an open mind because the life/work advice is still valid.)

Take entry level jobs, learn everything you can, ask lots of questions, and try to stay on everyone's good side.

I worked for 15 years in the landscaping industry and worked my way to a point I could represent myself as a business. If you have any interest in engineering, plumbing, house cleaning, irrigation, fish farming, plant farming, welding, building, pottery, animals, cooking, automation, networking, sewing, computers; start looking up YouTube channels. Two of my favorites are Curtis Stone's micro farming channel, and Will Prowes's solar power channel. There is a YouTube channel for every career or hobby you can think of. Artists get in this strange rut of assuming they are only good at one thing: drawing, music, painting, singing, dancing, or whatever. With all that dedication they could easily apply themselves to something else but you have to take a few risks and cut a unique path through life.

If you have some family to fall back on, get a job that offers entry level training and plan ahead. Open a checking account at a bank, follow it up with a savings account, learn how to save your money. The two most important things in life to worry about is whether you have a roof over your head and where your next meal is coming from. If you don't have to worry about that, focus on improving your various life skills and hobbies.

Your 14, that's an incredible age to figure things out. You have your whole life in front of you and you probably don't have to work (I started working in food at 14 and was terrible). Depression can hurt at any age, I'm sorry my initial advice about working probably doesn't apply to you but things are never as bleak as it might feel. You're in Russia, I can't speak to that experience but there is so much you can do to prepare from the ripe age of 14 or 24 or 34 or 44. Try not to overwhelm yourself, life is much longer than you might think it is at 14. Potential is endless, just try to work on that self esteem. You got your whole life in front of you.

Thank you so much! Thank you for a very nice review, which warmed my soul a little.

It's not even about age or country, I have a roof over my head, food, water and clothes. I'm looking for my health (it's not just about stressful feelings). I am disabled, and therefore I cannot do even the most banal things - read or write on paper, use TV or PC. It is difficult for me to do anything, my eyesight does not allow it.

I have been able to draw well for a long time (for me personally, this is not bad). I like to develop, learn new things and talk about the world and its structure. You can say I can try something else, yes, but I am an adherent of the fact that talent does not exist, but there is a skill. Anyone in any field can succeed, you only need training and knowledge, but without a mentor, it is unlikely that you will be able to do at least a little of what I would like. Moreover, I do not know any classes that have made me even a little bit happy. I probably like music because it's not mine, I didn't compose it, and when I do something myself, I immediately start thinking about shame. It's depressing.

Нет, ну это уже ни в какие ворота не лезет. Приятель, мне кажется, что тебе нужно прекратить себя бичевать, ибо ну ни к чему хорошему то не приведёт. В любом случае, терапия с самооценкой тебе точно должна помочь, но загоняться лучше не думай даже. Тем более, депрессия в 14 лет?! Ты с дуба рухнул?!

Я давно рухнул с дуба.

@Danivolt @X-ManOfficial конечно, свыкнуться с новым стилем очень сложно. Но ничего невозможного нет. Пробуй что-то новое, экспериметируй, делай какие-то безумные сочетания звуков. Ведь ты давно у всех на дверии и ты можешь совершать чтото интересное и по настоящему слушабельное.

Ну… наверное. Не знаю, наверное скоро попробую восстановиться и продолжить делать что-то, может и вовсе что-то новое попробую, не знаю.

Божн Иксмен скок тебя знаю все время с тобой что то новое происходит помню как ты в больницу лег из за этого симптома Лебера теперь другая фигня появилась боже как я тебе сочувствую. Ты столько всего пережил кошмар какой то! Такого и врагу не пожелаешь. Как ты в этом ваше живкшь?! А ведь больница то не так уж и близко потому что ты живешь в поселке с дремучими лесами. Но вот у меня вопрос: зачем себя так мучать? Ты как раз таки уже давно добился успеха у тебя куча обложек, подписщики уже набегают мне кажется у тебя щас очень интересный период и ты нп этом хочешь остановиться??! Мой тебе совет если тебе ниче в голову не лезет то можешь снова возродить свой старый стиль (machine rebelion,last ray) или замутить ремиксы на ЧТО УГОДНО! Ты их кста никогда не писал. Советую попробовать. Я знаю что ты давно оторван от компа и юзаешь GarageBand и там у тя была годнота! Ничего стрпшного! Я часто тоже юзаю FL mobile и пытаюсь там тож годное сочинить. Плюс ты можешь заняться FIXированием своих старых треков там че то новое внедрить изменить звучание, сведение. Но не надо ж так себя загонять! Помни у тебя есть мы подписщики друзья и просто слушатели. Но если уж совсем все хреново то просто начни все с чистого листа займись чем нибудь другим рисуй, пиши книги, фантазируй, займись спортом поменяй свой образ жизни. В общем поправляйся надеюсь скоро твоя жизнь заиграет новыми красками!)

Had to really think of something to write since @PearlHikara and @Quarl pretty much said most of what I wanted to say, but here's my own two cents:

You don't always need someone to teach you how to do things in order to be good at it, I started drawing full time in February of 2021, before then I would only draw on very rare occasions. However, after I quit an art school that was taught by an Ex-Bob Ross teacher 2 months in because the teacher was frankly too strict, and not being happy repairing other people's computers, I was then re-inspired by some artist online showcasing their art as part of a year-long challenge.

Being the masochist I am, I decided to learn how to draw by myself (with the occasional YouTube guide) by drawing a new picture everyday for a year straight. Throughout that entire year-long challenge of mine that I posted every day on Twitter, I only gained less than 10 followers. No one gave critiques, no one judged, no one praised, it was just complete silence for like 99% of that year. Even joining Newgrounds later on that year didn't change a thing. Had like 300 drawings before being invited to the art portal.

The only thing that kept me going the whole way through was because I didn't want to lose the commitment I gave myself, I wanted to both show people that I can be great at whatever I did, and journal it all, even if it meant that others would only see it after I died.

Even today I still don't get too many criticisms on my drawings, but I'm starting to understand that it's better to join projects and collabs, and talk with others than to wait for the one person that'll critique you ever blue moon, or trying to find a good teacher.

The disability you have does throw a wrench into a bunch of things though...but I think with a bit of research you might be able to find things to aid you, or at the very least find ways to jerry rig something yourself so that you can continue doing what you want to do.

Who knows, maybe you might find something you like better accidentally. I was a bit of a programmer before I took-up art. Heck, on occasion I still bust-out my programming and computer knowledge to build simple programs to help with my art. Music might be a bit of your passion right now, but who knows what else you might be good at if you go out there and explore.

I'll leave you with this: your music doesn't sound like it was made by someone who's mostly blind, it sounds just like any other good artist here, and you should be proud of that achievement alone.

P.S.: it's good to just let all your emotions out through art. That's was one way I was able to pump-out something every day during that one year run.

I understand you. Even before my disability, I was interested in programming for a short time, but I quickly quit because I didn't understand much. Since early childhood I have been fond of drawing, because personally it seems to me that I draw perfectly on paper, although I have not drawn almost anything in the last 2 goals and it is clear why. In fact, I tried myself a lot, but I didn't show it to anyone and it was fine for me, but now I feel very depressed, since I practically don't have real friends in life and on the Internet, that's why it's tight. I have a lot of thoughts, but I can't tell them, so I decided to try myself in music, as it attracts me, but I don't understand at all what I want from it. Most likely, it is right to think that stress will not give anything, and everyone has their own style, because repeating someone is worse than inventing their own, and I am sure there is a way out of any situation, because I will try to find myself.

It sounds like you're having a hard time with being away from the sensory world, like interacting with your 5 senses (in a fast paced environment) as well as only having music as a hobby. My advice would be to escape music and try other things such as writing blogs or stories or getting into psychology and pseudoscience (what i'm doing right now), this kind of stuff is really good to get into while you have a lot of time (i'm on holiday for the next 9 weeks so i'm getting into this stuff), also finding a way to go for a 30 minute walk each day would be ideal because that's a big depression killer
socialisation is kind of important as well, maybe get into collabs, voice chat with people online, etc
It isn't too good to put all your time into one thing because then you get tunnel vision and don't see much from other perspectives so doing other sensory or socialisation things are a good way to take a break from music, then come back with a fresh mind to start making music again

i have ushers syndrome which made me fully deaf (got cochlears so i can hear just as well as hearing people though) and is slowly shrinking my periferal vision so at around age 70-90 i'll be pretty much fully blind, it's been a pretty big fear of mine recently to lose touch of the sensory world and just be limited to my mind and not be able to experience things as i used to but when it does happen i'll be ready to salvage the good things from it and ignore the bad stuff because it's not worth thinking about it
you seem to have a very technical approach to making music (i might be wrong, i haven't listenied to much, just basing off your reviews on my stuff) as well as attention to detail so that's pretty cool, part of being in the music industry is having a consistent brand and it also helps to be a character that people trust and like so you may want to think about that, pouring your emotions is good for that like someone here said already, i wish you luck in getting through this

Thanks for the advice. I have been interested in psychology and social sciences for at least two years. The fact is that I'm disabled and it's not easy for me to do anything, that's why I'm so depressed. I walk for an hour every day, sometimes even for 2 hours. Since early childhood, I have enjoyed painting and art classes. It's just that I don't have much with my loved ones, and I don't have any real friends at all. So somehow. I've already put music on the back burner lately, as ideas and inspiration are running out, but I will definitely return to it and I won't give up this thing in the next year.

Your not dumb dude, it's ok if you don't know much about music, I actually like some of your stuff! Just do what you enjoy, If you don't feel like making music, that's ok! There may be other things you can try!

I personally don't make music cause I think it's amazing, I just make it for fun, it doesn't matter if it's not great.

Don't be sad, I'm sure you'll find something you enjoy...

Btw, (if you can), try using cloud storage for some of your stuff, it can help free up space because it won't actually be on your device unless you download it. Plus you can access files anywhere. Or you can try external drives like usb or sd cards.

Thank you for support

I tried to use cloud storage, but in the case of GarageBand it doesn't work. Projects were always downloaded corrupted. Most likely, this will happen with external drives.

@X-ManOfficial oh, ok.